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Posts tagged ‘stream of consciousness’

6
Mar

~Tired~

I’m Tired of this.
I Don’t want to Do dishes anymore. I want to eat off paper plates in front of a crackling Fire…
No more cleaning, I want to sweep dirt from my Teepee with a straw broom.
Don’t want stupid negative redundant Inane words…
Want to write Poetry and Books while my lover brushes my hair.
Over Giving to you what You would Never think to give to me.
Sick of living Here. Deep in a cave is where I’d rather be, making Love on skins and cotton.

Or maybe in a mountain River, cold, hot, Real.

~ © Jazzi Ryan Ranes ~

2
Feb

~Move Mountains~

Work for the life you want. Work hard and with intention. Don’t sit around and wait for someone or some greater entity to hand it to you on a silver platter. Everything that takes away from your drive, passion, and love, takes away everything. Drop everything you can from your present reality but those things that move you forward.

Simply don’t stress out over the little things anymore, because they are all little things. Don’t take everything so seriously or so personally. Stay young in mind if not in body. Don’t allow others to steal your candy or knock the ice cream cone out of your hand. Make jokes, flirt, dance, play, sing, laugh, and love.

Sweet dreams are made of this. A desire to succeed in a challenging world. Trying is all you can do, working at it is all I do. Move mountains with intention, because if there is no hope and no desire to get ahead, you won’t move a grain of sand. What you do in your work to gain the future profoundly describes your being. This realization makes it all very much real in a lavish rose-colored world. You never really get knocked out…just stunned a little bit.

The things that are worth having in this life require work. If it comes easy, unless you’re at that skill level where it should, then it’s not worth your time. You appreciate the things that you have to work for. You will have a tendency to take better care of these things you want for your life if you keep that in mind.

I work on a steep learning curve and sometimes it’s a slippery slope…but I gotta mean ass four-wheel drive and determination. I’ve discovered I have to learn and just get it done because I’m the only one who can. I’ve also learned to stay calm and put one foot in front of the other while helping the other people in my life gain traction.

I’ve never had the ability to be calm, decisive, a safe harbor…for myself or for anyone else. Not until the last year, year and a half. This newfound gentleness comes from staying aware of myself and realizing we all go through shit all the time and I’m no better or no different than anyone else.

I don’t like format constraints on my life, but sometimes they are necessary to get shit done. Once I decide I want to do something there is little short of physically dying that will keep me from it. Take these words and make them yours. Tear them apart, put them back together, and figure out how to write the chapters of your life so they will be a great fucking read.

Now it’s all about being happy even when happy is sitting on the curb waiting on the bus.

“Contentment is, after all, simply refined indolence.”
-Thomas Chandler Haliburton

Semper Avanti

~ © Jazzi Ryan Ranes ~

28
Dec

~Taryn Vayl Evrwrite~

I mean, we knew she was a strong, self-contained woman. Always seemed to have her shit together. You know what I mean? Didn’t need anyone hindering her search. She was always gazing into the abyss. But nowadays you couldn’t tell if she was anywhere near the black hole, inside or out, here or there. If you even looked at her sideways, she would just split an infinitive, man. She was all over the place and back, in an instant! I shit you not! You might not even know she was writing about you until you read it on her blog.

Her name is Taryn Vayl Evrwrite, but we call her Vayl. Never knew what route the lady was gonna take, or where you’d end up. She was a dynamic, prolific writer, and we loved hanging out with Vayl, –when she wasn’t tossing alphabetic musings to the wind. Dug how she hijacked regular words and fried them in the fire.

If you were able to catch a rare glance of Vayl when she dropped the comma and warped the laws of grammar, –you would see she was beyond that proper ellipses bullshit. Gal had mad skills. Could be just like the rest of us, –not knowing which way to go until somebody notices you’re struggling.

Still. She was focused on the words, and how to use them to create a new abyss of falling letters. There was no rabbit hole, no limits, no right participle, no event horizon. It was all an illusion. You could create whatever you wanted to create! That was just how she wrote. Vayl enjoyed the muse as much as the final draft….. Yeah, she was one to keep an eye on, that Vayl…

Spukhafte Fernwirkung

~©Jazzi Ryan Ranes~

26
Dec

~Mountain Bear McKenzi~

I mean, we knew he was a strong, self-contained fellow. Always seemed to have his shit together. You know what I mean? Didn’t need anyone telling him what to do. He was always thinking one step ahead. But nowadays those steps were taking him beyond the town, beyond the county line, and out of the state. If anyone dared to spill just one word sideways, he would just split, man. He was all over the place and back, in an instant! I shit you not! You might not even know he’d already beat you at your own game unless you’d paid attention.

His name is Mountain Bear McKenzi, but we call him Bear. Never knew what route the dude was gonna take, or where you’d end up. He was a dynamic, dark comedian, and we loved hanging out with the Mountain Bear, –when he wasn’t busy messing with somebody’s day. Dug how he flipped off common notions and threw them in the fire.

If you were able to catch a rare glance of Bear when he split the misconceptions and warped the brains of many, –you would see he was beyond that everyday normal bullshit. Bro had mad skills. Could be just like the rest of us, –not knowing which way to go until somebody notices you’re struggling.

Still. He was focused on the road, and how to use that to destroy the concept of home. There was no one place, no location, no country, no boundaries, no cage. It was all an illusion. You could go wherever you wanted to go! That’s how we knew him to be. Bear dug the journey as much as the destination. Yeah, he was one determined fellow, that Mountain Bear.

Spukhafte Fernwirkung

~©Jazzi Ryan Ranes~

22
Dec

~Schroedinger’s Alpha Cat~

I mean, we knew he was a strong, self-contained fellow. Always seemed to have his shit together. You know what I mean? Didn’t need anyone glancing his way. He was always thinking outside the box. But nowadays you couldn’t tell if he was anywhere near the box, alive or dead, here or there. If you even looked at him sideways, he would just split, man. He was all over the place and back, in an instant! I shit you not! You might not even know he was back in the hood until you looked away.

We called him Schroedinger, Roady for short. Never knew what path the dude was gonna take, or where you’d end up. He was dynamic and unpredictable, but we loved hanging out with Roady, –when he wasn’t warping the space-time continuum. Dug how he took the fucking box and threw it in the fire.

If you were able to catch a rare glance of Roady when he split the infinitive, and warped the laws of physics, –you would see he was beyond that quantum process bullshit. Bro had mad skills. Could be just like the rest of us, –not knowing which way to go until somebody notices you’re struggling.

Still. He was focused on the imaginary box, and how to use that to shred the concept of duality. There was no symmetry, no wave, no particle, no Faraday cage. It was all an illusion. It was whatever you wanted it to be! That’s what we thought he meant anyhow. Yeah, he was one intuitive fellow, that Roady.

~©Jazzi Ryan Ranes~

18
Dec

~Higher Order~

When you discover an eclectic, complex, highly intelligent mind, you simply have to feed it. You will feed yourself as you satiate this need. Present the grapes, truffles, and mead of creativity to this hungry mind. Feed the place where words are always present, but so rarely needed.

Allow this multi-faceted visionary to rest on silken pillows while you balance a golden tray of ideas, dreams, and physimotional eruptions. Wait while this intellect gazes at the joker then decide what flavor it most desires. Maybe it wants sweet honey. Maybe it wants salt and pepper. Perhaps it would prefer earthy, smoky, dirty flavors.

Stand back and watch as silver streams of energy and art radiate from this glowing soul. Taste that intuition!! Smooth, rich and mixed to get you high. Shaken stirred and poured. Ahh, delicious perfection in a richly flavored gilded sensation!

You are sated now. You have found a vibrant, kindred mind as strange and beautiful as your own. Never let it get hungry, never let it starve for understanding, never let it die.

Go. 🔀 It’s time to dine.

CDbaby – Nine Days In

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#EDM #UndergroundChic #Experimental #Contemporary #Piano #Jazz #Funk #Trance #Electronica #Dance #Soul

~ © Jazzi Ryan Ranes ~

13
Dec

~I Can See In The Dark~

…I wander through my house at night, in the dark, working over the words always trying to get out. Sometimes the energy of my thoughts will not allow me just to sit and ponder. Ironically, the second this title popped into my head this morning, I tripped over a fucking garbage bag I forgot to put out yesterday, and almost fell on my head. Go figure. I need some more shit in my way apparently. (smart mouthy biatch) However, since it came to me in such a way… I’ll have to write the damn thing now. It will be as much of a surprise to me, as it was to trip over something I had placed in my own way…

~I Can See In The Dark~

I wander looking, longing.. dreaming..
for the words I cannot say.

I can see in the dark.. I can show you the way.

Searching gazing, glaring.. into the black highway.

I wander hunting, tracking, trailing..
lost emotions I cannot feel.

I can see in the dark.. I can help you to heal.

Searching gazing, glaring..
into the night highway.

I wander feeling, touching..
tasting..
the words I now can say.

I can see in the dark.. I now know the way.

Searching gazing, glaring..
into the night highway.

~©Jazzi Ryan Ranes

10
Dec

~Secret #1~

Here’s an insight into how my mind works. A secret, if you will.

I know about ten different male internet techs by their first names. Seriously. That’s how bad the internet is where I live.

Had my life circumstances been different, had the timing been just right, I would have taken down the dirty white boy from southern West Virginia despite the sweltering July heat. He was hot-blooded and putting off all the right vibes…

But I would have cooked him a meal had that been what he’d rather have wanted. Gave him a back rub while he napped in front of the fan, and washed his filthy jeans while he took a shower.

~© Jazzi Ryan Ranes~

5
Dec

~Worthless Things~

There all these things, these possessions, these artifacts of a life…and I realize there is no one thing here, no object, no collection, no antique, no inanimate piece of wood, metal, glass or cloth, that means more to me than your love. I drip a thousand tears on these meaningless things and yearn for the things that live outside of space and time. The things that are real and sure…unlike these temporary things I own.

These unnecessary pretties are just so much junk invading my heart. Cluttering up my house, my mind, my life. When I go from here I will sell these worthless things made of this and that, turn loose of the stuff that suffocates my soul. Take the money and travel with a knapsack, paper and pen, to find you…to find you wherever you are.

What I need is not made of stone, porcelain, marble or plastic. What I need is the things money can’t buy, the things only the soul can see. The things of love and devotion and hot sunset passions. There are all these damn things and they crowd my mind, my body, my life.

I will get rid of these unnecessary possessions and use the money to find the necessary things my heart so desires. I will find this love and I will make it mine, will hold it and treasure it in this full heart of mine.

~©Jazzi Ryan Ranes~

28
Nov

~So Why aka Jazzi Ryan Ranes?~

Just a thought here, kind of out of the blue. But it will give you some insight into some things about me. So if I go off and write some stream of consciousness thing at you, know yer getting a look inside my psyche whatever the subject may be.

Why the aka? Why fly incognito wearin’ the shades? Concealing my given name and my present physical reality? Why open this battered door anyway? Who gives a damn, right? Well here’s this. Because I am Jazzi but Jazzi is not me. Makes no immediate sense right? It will in a little bit maybe. Hell, maybe you already starting to get my vibe. We’ll see…

I project this persona, this alternate or twin soul, twin flame, wtf ever, who lives inside me because I have to just a little while or a lot. At least until these fractured pieces of me stop standing beside each other and finally integrate. Assimilate. Become one and become whole.

Besides that my writing is going to creep around in some strange, dark corners every once in a while and I need to think of other people in my life and any afterburner trails I may leave behind. I don’t hold with most of the hammered in beliefs that the pack usually follow and I don’t want to scorch their personal beliefs or hurt anyone’s feelings.

The sometimes searing, rarified air of taboo meanderings that may potentially erupt, the side of me who thinks they’re a little comedic but really comes off just a little far over the edge to be funny. These things need not enter their airspace or their aura unless they want it to and think they can breathe.

You need not be here. Future writings will tell that story better. I’m not here for the dollars although the dollars would be nice. I love you all, already, you damn heathens you. You got Soul Baes…you got Love.

Jazzi is…
Smooth, soulful soft instrumental jazz, preferably performed with saxophone and or guitar, has been my sensual go to music for almost thirty years. I started out as a child loving Chet Atkins and The Ventures. Both instrumental guitar performers. Yakety Sax was a favored tune. I evolved into the likes of Yanni and David Arkenstone and continued to explore. I played a little guitar and keyboard myself. I named a dog with one blue eye and one brown, Jazzy. Jazzi is the woman of passion, heat, fiery seduction, waterfalls, serene mountain lakes and unusual thought processes. A black cat owns her, she is Taurus, and she has deep dreams. She reaches out her palms in supplication even knowing she will be cut. She bleeds hot tears and ink, but she cleans up after herself.

Now Ryan, well he is my reincarnated male soul, or perhaps my baser id…the dark side, the dirty injun boy…the side that will tie you up. He has hard techno, bass beat, dance and synth blaring in his headphones and it will be primarily instrumental as well. Ryan wants everything, right now and will take it if you don’t give it. He will lay you down in the dirt if that’s where you happen to flip his switch. He is the little girl who hated to play with dolls, wouldn’t wear dresses, played with Tonka toys in the dirt and fought in grade school. Mom hated that I read MAD magazine and I hated that I thought it was cool. I loved Stephen King, Clive Barker, and Dean Koontz, while they read Judy Blume, Shel Silverstein, and Teen Beat. The nightmares, the fantasies, the man I always wished I could find. He leaves a mess wherever he goes.

Ranes? So much going on there I don’t know if I can even explain. Rayne is all of it, everything, every last atom of my being. My spirit, my soul, my quantum entanglement. Rayne embodies all fractured facets of my personality and allows me to speak my voice finally. Sometimes she dances naked in the rain while lightning and thunder crash down. Sometimes he is soft rain on a tin roof taking you for the very first time. She will remain loyal to you despite how badly you treat her. He will go off and fuck somebody else just to spite you. She likes sunsets, and he likes sunrises. Rayne will listen to any kind of music if it touches the soul. She loves to read and write and swim in rivers, lakes, and streams. He enjoys long walks in the forest, mountain vistas and home cooked meals. Rayne is complicated, and you never know what she/he is thinking.

So there you have it. Or some of it anyway. These meanderings don’t really cover it, and there is so much more I could never express. That’s why I write words. I find that I can write with confidence from either a female or male point of view. Words are the only way these personality aspects can interact. They seem to be the only things that even come close.

Sorry, not sorry I just dripped ink, tears, blood, and cum on your chest. It should come off with a little cold water and some scrubbing.

~©Jazzi Ryan Ranes~

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