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Posts tagged ‘stream of consciousness’

6
Mar

~Tired~

I’m Tired of this.
I Don’t want to Do dishes anymore. I want to eat off paper plates in front of a crackling Fire…
No more cleaning, I want to sweep dirt from my Teepee with a straw broom.
Don’t want stupid negative redundant Inane words…
Want to write Poetry and Books while my lover brushes my hair.
Over Giving to you what You would Never think to give to me.
Sick of living Here. Deep in a cave is where I’d rather be, making Love on skins and cotton.

Or maybe in a mountain River, cold, hot, Real.

~ © Jazzi Ryan Ranes ~

2
Feb

~Move Mountains~

Work for the life you want. Work hard and with intention. Don’t sit around and wait for someone or some greater entity to hand it to you on a silver platter. Everything that takes away from your drive, passion, and love, takes away everything. Drop everything you can from your present reality but those things that move you forward.

Simply don’t stress out over the little things anymore, because they are all little things. Don’t take everything so seriously or so personally. Stay young in mind if not in body. Don’t allow others to steal your candy or knock the ice cream cone out of your hand. Make jokes, flirt, dance, play, sing, laugh, and love.

Sweet dreams are made of this. A desire to succeed in a challenging world. Trying is all you can do, working at it is all I do. Move mountains with intention, because if there is no hope and no desire to get ahead, you won’t move a grain of sand. What you do in your work to gain the future profoundly describes your being. This realization makes it all very much real in a lavish rose-colored world. You never really get knocked out…just stunned a little bit.

The things that are worth having in this life require work. If it comes easy, unless you’re at that skill level where it should, then it’s not worth your time. You appreciate the things that you have to work for. You will have a tendency to take better care of these things you want for your life if you keep that in mind.

I work on a steep learning curve and sometimes it’s a slippery slope…but I gotta mean ass four-wheel drive and determination. I’ve discovered I have to learn and just get it done because I’m the only one who can. I’ve also learned to stay calm and put one foot in front of the other while helping the other people in my life gain traction.

I’ve never had the ability to be calm, decisive, a safe harbor…for myself or for anyone else. Not until the last year, year and a half. This newfound gentleness comes from staying aware of myself and realizing we all go through shit all the time and I’m no better or no different than anyone else.

I don’t like format constraints on my life, but sometimes they are necessary to get shit done. Once I decide I want to do something there is little short of physically dying that will keep me from it. Take these words and make them yours. Tear them apart, put them back together, and figure out how to write the chapters of your life so they will be a great fucking read.

Now it’s all about being happy even when happy is sitting on the curb waiting on the bus.

“Contentment is, after all, simply refined indolence.”
-Thomas Chandler Haliburton

Semper Avanti

~ © Jazzi Ryan Ranes ~

28
Dec

~Taryn Vayl Evrwrite~

I mean, we knew she was a strong, self-contained woman. Always seemed to have her shit together. You know what I mean? Didn’t need anyone hindering her search. She was always gazing into the abyss. But nowadays you couldn’t tell if she was anywhere near the black hole, inside or out, here or there. If you even looked at her sideways, she would just split an infinitive, man. She was all over the place and back, in an instant! I shit you not! You might not even know she was writing about you until you read it on her blog.

Her name is Taryn Vayl Evrwrite, but we call her Vayl. Never knew what route the lady was gonna take, or where you’d end up. She was a dynamic, prolific writer, and we loved hanging out with Vayl, –when she wasn’t tossing alphabetic musings to the wind. Dug how she hijacked regular words and fried them in the fire.

If you were able to catch a rare glance of Vayl when she dropped the comma and warped the laws of grammar, –you would see she was beyond that proper ellipses bullshit. Gal had mad skills. Could be just like the rest of us, –not knowing which way to go until somebody notices you’re struggling.

Still. She was focused on the words, and how to use them to create a new abyss of falling letters. There was no rabbit hole, no limits, no right participle, no event horizon. It was all an illusion. You could create whatever you wanted to create! That was just how she wrote. Vayl enjoyed the muse as much as the final draft….. Yeah, she was one to keep an eye on, that Vayl…

Spukhafte Fernwirkung

~©Jazzi Ryan Ranes~

26
Dec

~Mountain Bear McKenzi~

I mean, we knew he was a strong, self-contained fellow. Always seemed to have his shit together. You know what I mean? Didn’t need anyone telling him what to do. He was always thinking one step ahead. But nowadays those steps were taking him beyond the town, beyond the county line, and out of the state. If anyone dared to spill just one word sideways, he would just split, man. He was all over the place and back, in an instant! I shit you not! You might not even know he’d already beat you at your own game unless you’d paid attention.

His name is Mountain Bear McKenzi, but we call him Bear. Never knew what route the dude was gonna take, or where you’d end up. He was a dynamic, dark comedian, and we loved hanging out with the Mountain Bear, –when he wasn’t busy messing with somebody’s day. Dug how he flipped off common notions and threw them in the fire.

If you were able to catch a rare glance of Bear when he split the misconceptions and warped the brains of many, –you would see he was beyond that everyday normal bullshit. Bro had mad skills. Could be just like the rest of us, –not knowing which way to go until somebody notices you’re struggling.

Still. He was focused on the road, and how to use that to destroy the concept of home. There was no one place, no location, no country, no boundaries, no cage. It was all an illusion. You could go wherever you wanted to go! That’s how we knew him to be. Bear dug the journey as much as the destination. Yeah, he was one determined fellow, that Mountain Bear.

Spukhafte Fernwirkung

~©Jazzi Ryan Ranes~

22
Dec

~Schroedinger’s Alpha Cat~

I mean, we knew he was a strong, self-contained fellow. Always seemed to have his shit together. You know what I mean? Didn’t need anyone glancing his way. He was always thinking outside the box. But nowadays you couldn’t tell if he was anywhere near the box, alive or dead, here or there. If you even looked at him sideways, he would just split, man. He was all over the place and back, in an instant! I shit you not! You might not even know he was back in the hood until you looked away.

We called him Schroedinger, Roady for short. Never knew what path the dude was gonna take, or where you’d end up. He was dynamic and unpredictable, but we loved hanging out with Roady, –when he wasn’t warping the space-time continuum. Dug how he took the fucking box and threw it in the fire.

If you were able to catch a rare glance of Roady when he split the infinitive, and warped the laws of physics, –you would see he was beyond that quantum process bullshit. Bro had mad skills. Could be just like the rest of us, –not knowing which way to go until somebody notices you’re struggling.

Still. He was focused on the imaginary box, and how to use that to shred the concept of duality. There was no symmetry, no wave, no particle, no Faraday cage. It was all an illusion. It was whatever you wanted it to be! That’s what we thought he meant anyhow. Yeah, he was one intuitive fellow, that Roady.

~©Jazzi Ryan Ranes~

13
Dec

~I Can See In The Dark~

…I wander through my house at night, in the dark, working over the words always trying to get out. Sometimes the energy of my thoughts will not allow me just to sit and ponder. Ironically, the second this title popped into my head this morning, I tripped over a fucking garbage bag I forgot to put out yesterday, and almost fell on my head. Go figure. I need some more shit in my way apparently. (smart mouthy biatch) However, since it came to me in such a way… I’ll have to write the damn thing now. It will be as much of a surprise to me, as it was to trip over something I had placed in my own way…

~I Can See In The Dark~

I wander looking, longing.. dreaming..
for the words I cannot say.

I can see in the dark.. I can show you the way.

Searching gazing, glaring.. into the black highway.

I wander hunting, tracking, trailing..
lost emotions I cannot feel.

I can see in the dark.. I can help you to heal.

Searching gazing, glaring..
into the night highway.

I wander feeling, touching..
tasting..
the words I now can say.

I can see in the dark.. I now know the way.

Searching gazing, glaring..
into the night highway.

~©Jazzi Ryan Ranes

10
Dec

~Secret #1~

Here’s an insight into how my mind works. A secret, if you will.

I know about ten different male internet techs by their first names. Seriously. That’s how bad the internet is where I live.

Had my life circumstances been different, had the timing been just right, I would have taken down the dirty white boy from southern West Virginia despite the sweltering July heat. He was hot-blooded and putting off all the right vibes…

But I would have cooked him a meal had that been what he’d rather have wanted. Gave him a back rub while he napped in front of the fan, and washed his filthy jeans while he took a shower.

~© Jazzi Ryan Ranes~

27
Nov

~damn you~

That’s what he did alright. He pulled so far away I was able to get on with my life. Gave me strength, that chill did.

But then he popped back into my existence, and the walls started to collapse. Read every fucked up feeling I had, that mind did.

Uncontrolled the tears streamed down my face, and I thought, damn you that’s not fair, taking me without permission as you did.

but that’s what he does

I can’t do that to you, take your soul down bare and steal your secrets. But that’s what you did.

~© Jazzi Ryan Ranes~

24
Nov

~Random Chunks Of Brain Matter~  #2

…Gotham, dude. I watched all of Gotham and Alfred was my favorite. Wise was he. I like watching Steven Segal, David Carradine, Jack Nicholson, Jim Caviezel, Charles Bronson…you get the idea…do you remember Glenn Ford, thirties forties western actor/director…and James Arness (Matt Dillon). Real men on screen and off.

From the time I was a new teenager, I’ve admired and crushed on older men. I was mooning over Loren Greene, Lee Majors and Tom Selleck and wanted a piece of Chuck Norris. Waylon Jennings sang songs for me. If you were a hot silver fox, I was lookin’ at you.

The other girls my age were breathless over some 15-year-old girly looking boy that still had no hair on his ass. I didn’t get it. They were cute but puppies are cute. They were NOT handsome. Had no experience, no intelligence and no sex appeal.

These older real men had something deeper than looks and superb acting skills. They were rough around the edges, scarred and hardened from life and living. Passionate and sexy in a way that only comes with years lived and loved.

To this day I don’t like some of the younger smart ass know-it-alls I see on tv. I don’t watch any more tv than I have to anyway, so I choose carefully, lol.

When watching some actors or actresses I see men and women by their real names not their character names so much.

If I was an actress I would like to look like Stana Katic and Daniela Ruah and act like a Jack Nicholson / Jonathan Frakes / Jean-Claude Van Damme/Dr. Ruth/Elvira half breed. Weird huh? Don’t call the folks in white coats, you know you’re weird too.

Sudden insight here. Tells me something about myself that I like guys who can handle their weapons and ones who are skilled at hand to hand combat and Mental Awareness, even more. There is fearless and then there is stupid. You can find my post on that here.

~It is a fearless stance brought to reality from a life…lived.~

~You give me a little hidden hard-on.~

~I feel like I should spank myself for liking you as much as I do.~

~Do men hear you when you speak? Not your average vanilla coated guys, anyway. Some do listen but they don’t sling hearts ‘n flowers at you, and they taste of things stronger than sugar and rainbows.~

~©Jazzi Ryan Ranes~

21
Nov

~ Uncharted Realm~ Dream Inspired Free Write #4

I didn’t sleep well last night and woke at 12:30 am. My legs ached and my mind wouldn’t stop. When I did sleep I drempt I was in an unfamiliar house trying to sleep while strangers spoke at me and I had broken my phone in two and wondered if I had enough money to get another one. I was freaking out a little in that dream and was glad when my legs woke me up again.

I know what that dream was about. It was about the next book creeping around in my psyche. It all means something. I listen to my own heart as if it were a guru on a mount. I learned in this writing process that no thought is worthless and sometimes you just have to water them, wait, and see what sprouts.

~©Jazzi Ryan Ranes~

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