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Posts tagged ‘smartass’

12
Dec

Jazzi’s Acid- *4* 💥

…And why do some air fresheners smell so good in the store and then smell like ass when you spray them around your home? Truth in advertising should be a law. They shouldn’t be allowed to sell a product that smells worse than the chili-boiled egg-beer fart you chased your homies out of the room with during Sunday’s game.

The air “freshener” I tried today.. and I won’t name names, but they have an air freshener called crisp waters, and they really should have named it dirty toilet water, ass de’aroma or bracing sewage gas. It was fucking terrible! I thought the septic tank had backed up. Seriously. Now, I hate to throw out a whole can of pressurized turdscents. I prefer these cans of crap that are under pressure to be empty before I toss them in the garbage. So, I’m gonna let the evil, crisp brown waters sit on my shelf until I get the courage to take it outside and spray it away.

#smartass

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Love,

~©Jazzi Ryan Ranes~

16
Nov

Jazzi’s Acid – *3* 💥

You: I’m not someone you should put on speakerphone.

Me: I’m not someone you should put on the phone at all.

💥
*unfriended*

#smartass

🔥 If you want to follow me on social media, you can go to facespace here,

Facebook

And if you wanna be a tweep, here,

Twitter

Website…
WordPress

Love,

~©Jazzi Ryan Ranes~

6
Nov

Jazzi’s Acid – *2* 💥

You: I’m having an elegant wine dinner with my besties.

Me: You’re having pizza and strawberry hill with your 3 dogs and 5 cats.

💥
*unfriended*

#smartass

🔥 If you want to follow me on social media, you can go to Facespace here,

Facebook

And if you wanna be a tweep, here,

Twitter

Website…

WordPress

Love,

~©Jazzi Ryan Ranes~

29
Oct

Jazzi’s Acid – *1* 💥

You: I’m having fancy white albacore and sipping a microbrew.

Me: You’re eating tuna out of a can and sucking down a bud light.

💥
*unfriended*

#smartass

Love,

©Jazzi Ryan Ranes

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