I just want you to know that when you feel like you’ve done things in your life you know you shouldn’t have or have done wrong to yourself or others intentionally or unintentionally, that you are incredibly human. Understanding the concept of right and wrong without judging ourselves into hell is an art. It is self-taught skill and you feel it out on the steep learning curve of moral behavior. Self-driven guilt trips are common on the pathway to enlightenment. The path is often fraught with destruction, construction, ruin and rebuild. We all make a mess or two at one time or another and it is up to each one of us who spilled it, to clean it up.
I think it takes the strongest of heart and the most ancient of souls to allow themselves to be influenced by and to experience their darkest facets, their vulnerabilities, and their monsters. But even more… to come out on the other side better for it. To be able to live all of our sides, good and bad, light and dark, in comfortable agreement. Some things should not be fought with sword and bow. Your personality aspects are but one of these things. I speak from experience and acceptance.
I somehow know this is true… that the better we get at playing this game called life, the older we are in the soul, in the spirit. We’ve been here and done this before, time and again, and we remember a little more every time and correct our moral compass. It’s all about being our authentic self.
No fully integrated, intentionally aware soul got there without crushing a few toes and egos (ecosystems) along the way. (Ecosystems is how auto correct corrected egos. It works too.) We live in a human body for a reason. It limits how easily we can fix the antiquity of things we are capable of destroying in a mere moment. It takes days, years, and decades for a body and mind to build a thing and a flat 4 second 60 to blow it into oblivion. Nothing great ever comes about without a healthy amount of trial and error.
In other words, we are supposed to fuck up, learn, teach, give, take, learn and fuck up again until we wake up. Wake up and work together instead of hurting each other. Just the knowing of this is a reward in itself. There are no inherently bad or good people, just as there are no stone cold good or bad days. It is a choice. All of it is your choice. How you act, how you react, how will you decide to interact with others.
Choose it all but choose wisely would be my advice to the noobs. We are all going to end up the same way, even if we don’t know what that means for sure. And we don’t know what that means no matter how many scientists and spiritualists try to tell you they know what lies beyond. We will know when we are supposed to if we choose to learn to swim instead of treading water in concrete boots, hip waders and rose colored glasses.
It just takes some people longer to learn. When you don’t learn from your mistakes you make life difficult for everyone. The game of life is hard and the waters are rough when you choose to ignore the stormy weather you generate. Fortunately, most of us eventually learn how to swim naked in a hurricane among the sharks.
Some of us, like you and me, have learned enough on the journey to begin archiving the teachings of our soul and have decided to give them back to humanity in some way. If one sentence, one phrase, one word, one song, strikes one soul in the heart and stops it for a split second, long enough to cause a personal revelation then it was all worth it.
The point of regrettable actions is to understand that they damage everything and everyone and that is unacceptable. Harm no-one, including yourself…
… unless you get up in my grill and threaten this vessel that houses my eternal spirit or someone’s I love. Then all bets are off and you have a bigger problem than poor moral character and I’m betting I won’t lose much sleep over my potentially ethically corrupt actions.
“Do No Harm, But Take No Shit.”
– Moïra Fowley-Doyle, Spellbook of the Lost and Found
More to think about…
© Jazzi Ryan Ranes
Work for the life you want. Work hard and with intention. Don’t sit around and wait for someone or some greater entity to hand it to you on a silver platter. Everything that takes away from your drive, passion, and love, takes away everything. Drop everything you can from your present reality but those things that move you forward.
Simply don’t stress out over the little things anymore, because they are all little things. Don’t take everything so seriously or so personally. Stay young in mind if not in body. Don’t allow others to steal your candy or knock the ice cream cone out of your hand. Make jokes, flirt, dance, play, sing, laugh, and love.
Sweet dreams are made of this. A desire to succeed in a challenging world. Trying is all you can do, working at it is all I do. Move mountains with intention, because if there is no hope and no desire to get ahead, you won’t move a grain of sand. What you do in your work to gain the future profoundly describes your being. This realization makes it all very much real in a lavish rose-colored world. You never really get knocked out…just stunned a little bit.
The things that are worth having in this life require work. If it comes easy, unless you’re at that skill level where it should, then it’s not worth your time. You appreciate the things that you have to work for. You will have a tendency to take better care of these things you want for your life if you keep that in mind.
I work on a steep learning curve and sometimes it’s a slippery slope…but I gotta mean ass four-wheel drive and determination. I’ve discovered I have to learn and just get it done because I’m the only one who can. I’ve also learned to stay calm and put one foot in front of the other while helping the other people in my life gain traction.
I’ve never had the ability to be calm, decisive, a safe harbor…for myself or for anyone else. Not until the last year, year and a half. This newfound gentleness comes from staying aware of myself and realizing we all go through shit all the time and I’m no better or no different than anyone else.
I don’t like format constraints on my life, but sometimes they are necessary to get shit done. Once I decide I want to do something there is little short of physically dying that will keep me from it. Take these words and make them yours. Tear them apart, put them back together, and figure out how to write the chapters of your life so they will be a great fucking read.
Now it’s all about being happy even when happy is sitting on the curb waiting on the bus.
“Contentment is, after all, simply refined indolence.”
-Thomas Chandler Haliburton
~ © Jazzi Ryan Ranes ~
The wind is blowing,
like an angry god
huffing his resentment.
The flame by which
I write is flickering
in a subtle draft,
I linger over my memories
as I explore my craft.
Words flow freely in
the gentle light,
capturing them before
they escape in
the billowing dark.
The ideas I inscribe
until I get it right,
I am spurred on
through the howling
~©Jazzi Ryan Ranes~