Just a thought here, kind of out of the blue. But it will give you some insight into some things about me. So if I go off and write some stream of consciousness thing at you, know yer getting a look inside my psyche whatever the subject may be.
Why the aka? Why fly incognito wearin’ the shades? Concealing my given name and my present physical reality? Why open this battered door anyway? Who gives a damn, right? Well here’s this. Because I am Jazzi but Jazzi is not me. Makes no immediate sense right? It will in a little bit maybe. Hell, maybe you already starting to get my vibe. We’ll see…
I project this persona, this alternate or twin soul, twin flame, wtf ever, who lives inside me because I have to just a little while or a lot. At least until these fractured pieces of me stop standing beside each other and finally integrate. Assimilate. Become one and become whole.
Besides that my writing is going to creep around in some strange, dark corners every once in a while and I need to think of other people in my life and any afterburner trails I may leave behind. I don’t hold with most of the hammered in beliefs that the pack usually follow and I don’t want to scorch their personal beliefs or hurt anyone’s feelings.
The sometimes searing, rarified air of taboo meanderings that may potentially erupt, the side of me who thinks they’re a little comedic but really comes off just a little far over the edge to be funny. These things need not enter their airspace or their aura unless they want it to and think they can breathe.
You need not be here. Future writings will tell that story better. I’m not here for the dollars although the dollars would be nice. I love you all, already, you damn heathens you. You got Soul Baes…you got Love.
Smooth, soulful soft instrumental jazz, preferably performed with saxophone and or guitar, has been my sensual go to music for almost thirty years. I started out as a child loving Chet Atkins and The Ventures. Both instrumental guitar performers. Yakety Sax was a favored tune. I evolved into the likes of Yanni and David Arkenstone and continued to explore. I played a little guitar and keyboard myself. I named a dog with one blue eye and one brown, Jazzy. Jazzi is the woman of passion, heat, fiery seduction, waterfalls, serene mountain lakes and unusual thought processes. A black cat owns her, she is Taurus, and she has deep dreams. She reaches out her palms in supplication even knowing she will be cut. She bleeds hot tears and ink, but she cleans up after herself.
Now Ryan, well he is my reincarnated male soul, or perhaps my baser id…the dark side, the dirty injun boy…the side that will tie you up. He has hard techno, bass beat, dance and synth blaring in his headphones and it will be primarily instrumental as well. Ryan wants everything, right now and will take it if you don’t give it. He will lay you down in the dirt if that’s where you happen to flip his switch. He is the little girl who hated to play with dolls, wouldn’t wear dresses, played with Tonka toys in the dirt and fought in grade school. Mom hated that I read MAD magazine and I hated that I thought it was cool. I loved Stephen King, Clive Barker, and Dean Koontz, while they read Judy Blume, Shel Silverstein, and Teen Beat. The nightmares, the fantasies, the man I always wished I could find. He leaves a mess wherever he goes.
Ranes? So much going on there I don’t know if I can even explain. Rayne is all of it, everything, every last atom of my being. My spirit, my soul, my quantum entanglement. Rayne embodies all fractured facets of my personality and allows me to speak my voice finally. Sometimes she dances naked in the rain while lightning and thunder crash down. Sometimes he is soft rain on a tin roof taking you for the very first time. She will remain loyal to you despite how badly you treat her. He will go off and fuck somebody else just to spite you. She likes sunsets, and he likes sunrises. Rayne will listen to any kind of music if it touches the soul. She loves to read and write and swim in rivers, lakes, and streams. He enjoys long walks in the forest, mountain vistas and home cooked meals. Rayne is complicated, and you never know what she/he is thinking.
So there you have it. Or some of it anyway. These meanderings don’t really cover it, and there is so much more I could never express. That’s why I write words. I find that I can write with confidence from either a female or male point of view. Words are the only way these personality aspects can interact. They seem to be the only things that even come close.
Sorry, not sorry I just dripped ink, tears, blood, and cum on your chest. It should come off with a little cold water and some scrubbing.
~©Jazzi Ryan Ranes~
Have you seen the names they’re giving marijuana nowadays? People name weed strains like they name racehorses. Fabulous poetic words that help to make the horse stand out amongst the others. And nine times out of ten, the name has nothing to do with the animal at all.
As the miracle plant takes hold and gains legality across our planet, branding has become all important. You want your tag to blow smoke in your customers face. You want the pot description to sound like what it does and give them a contact high. Get folks to buy Your shit, man.
*So with that temporarily in mind, here are some names my friend and I came up with while messaging our unusual, stream of consciousness thoughts back and forth one early morning. I can’t say if any of these are already out there. If they are, I don’t mean to bogart your greens. If not, they should be. And now I present, in no particular order of bleary-eyed importance…
~112 weed strains that haven’t been grown yet.~
1. I See Pizzas
2. Four Eyes
3. Cooked Pasta
5. Brain Food
6. Did I Just Eat That
7. Glass Eyes
8. Three Days Later
9. Apocalypse Now
10. The Pizza Made Me Do It
11. Stupid Grin
12. Cookie Monster
13. Nine Lives
15. Haunted Haze
16. Good N Plenty
17. Goodie Two Shoes
18. Mary’s Lost Baggie
19. Mary Jane’s Happy Dance
20. Mary Jane’s Cupboard
21. Mother Nature
22. Pass The Chips
23. Stale Potato Chips
24. The Dog Ate My Stash
25. Couch Lock
26. High Way
28. Grandpa’s Cane
30. The Game Of Stones
32. Flower Child
33. High Sight Is 20/20
34. Double Vision
35. I Can’t Find My Face
36. I Can’t Feel My Ass
37. Lazy Boy
38. Floating Weeds
39. Short-Term Memory Loss
40. Baked Beans
41. Ghost Candy
42. This Bowls For You
43. My Joints Are Stiff
45. Windows 3000
46. Caroline’s Window Box
47. Lawn Grass
48. Bogart’s Revenge
49. Silly Putty
50. Fried Brain Sandwiches
51. Don’t Eat The Koolaid
52. Winter Frost
53. Garden Weeds
54. Fantasy Island
55. Pinned To The Wall
56. Floppy French Fries
57. Vacation Days
58. Dry Mouth
60. Best Buds
61. Wilted Flowers
62. The Hills Have Highs
63. Greener Pastures
64. Mount Rush More
65. Rainbow Smoke
66. You Are Here
67. Lazy 420
68. Space Trees
69. Healthy Greens
70. Too Stoned To Text
71. X-Ray Vision
72. Heavy Eyelids
73. Are We There Yet
74. Red Eyed Beast
75. The Blunt Truth
76. Autumn Leaves
77. Stonewall Jackson
78. Harvey Wallbanger
79. Cream Puffs
80. Red Sunset
81. Blank TV Screen
83. Green Pieces
84. Contact High
85. Buzz Bunny
86. Comic Relief
87. Where The Fuck Am I
88. Time Traveler
89. Wild Fire
90. *Buzzy Bee*
91. Too High To Blink
92. Catnip Acres
93. Black Panther Kitties
94. Pot Of Gold
95. Cross-Eyed Pink Dragons
96. Puffy McPufferson
98. Fishing For Kitties
99. *T. H. Seas*
100. Party Plants
101. Three Days In The Joint
102. Laughing Grass
103. Afraid To Go To The Mailbox
104. Where Did I Put The Remote
105. Is This Sandwich Still Good
106. Spooky Action At A Distance
107. I Forgot What I Was Going To Say
108. Rolled Too Tight
109. Buzz Buddies
110. Happy Trees
111. Dome Baggie
112. All Fucked Up & No Place To Go
*A couple of those might be better suited to edibles…
Make of that what you will, but hey man… Name the stuff and let the stoners figure out what it means. A week later.
*Don’t steal our shit, man. We don’t have a stash.
~…a long time coming so don’t harsh the buzz.~
~…a little bit of experience and a whole lot of burning imagination.~
*All material copy written in a cloud of smoke.
*Original comedy routine, based on this random foggy brain matter, coming soon to a blank computer screen near you. Stay untuned for a YouTube video early 3019…er 2019. Whatever.
© Jazzi Ryan Ranes 2018
© Joe Jones 2018
© Joe In The Dark (the teddy bear with teeth) 2018
© T. H. Seas 2018
© Buzzy Bee Productions 2018
~All rights reserved.~
I had to think a little longer about who I wanted on this list of seekers. This post only includes ten people because the thing was getting long and it was getting too long for one post. I feel like I should include more women this time around, as men dominated the first visionaries post.
I admit I had quite a bit of frenetic brain strain working this one out. I wracked my brain for days on this, where the prior post flew out of me in just a few short hours.
It was so difficult for me because I don’t relate well to women. I am a women and I know how we are. Despite having to use my brain more than I was used to on this post, I finally pulled it kicking and bitching, out of my head. These people, men and women alike, have and have had, what it takes to be considered a visionary. In my book, anywho. Here we go.
Capt. Amy Bauernschmidt. The first woman in Navy history to hold the title of executive officer, or XO, of a nuclear warship. This incredible woman broke through the male dominated glass ceiling of Navy leadership. She leads with strength, humility and compassion. It has not been easy but she has the respect. Find Amy’s story here:
Michio Kaku. Futurist, scientist, science fiction expert, theoretical physicist, bestselling author, popular public personality. Creator of accessible physics for everyone. His vision is to be part of and perhaps complete, Einstein’s vision of a “Theory of Everything”. A single perfect equation which will unify all the fundamental forces in the universe.
Elena Verlee. I just recently found out about her and I admire her ambition and vision. Here is her story.
*”Here is her brief bio: Elena Verlee is passionate about helping even the most ordinary business become well-known and sought after through the power of publicity. She is a Visa Business Network blogger, named in Forbes.com as one of “20 Women for Entrepreneurs to follow on Twitter”, and honored in PR Web’s “25 Essential PR Blogs You Should Be Reading.” Elena authors the blog PR in Your Pajamas and is a serial entrepreneur who has built a 7-figure business from home, and has sold two of her own businesses for 6-figures. She has two young kids and recently finished her first triathlon after finally learning to swim in her 40’s.”* courtesy of…
Stan Lee. (Stanley Martin Lieber) R.I.P. ~Dec 28, 1922 ~ Nov 12, 2018~.
Legendary Marvel Comics co-creator Stan Lee, famous for creating some of the worlds most iconic superheroes including but not limited to… Spider-Man, Iron Man, the X-Men and the Incredible Hulk, died Monday. He was 95.
Ellen DeGeneres. I could go into all the reasons I believe this incredible woman should be on this list but I’m just going to give you a couple links to find out more. If you don’t already know a thing or two about Ellen, then you’ve been living under a rock, in a cave, on Mars.
Steve Martin. There is no comic out there who will ever be able to pull off the arrow through the head routine and nail it like Steve. Multi-talented actor, master of comical and serious roles, standup comedian, Steve acts with his expressive face as much as he delivers the lines. And he is a damned good banjo player.
Speaking of guys who could act with their face… Rodney Dangerfield (Jack Roy). I hope you never have to say, “I don’t get no respect!”, wherever you are. I’ll bet you got ’em laughing. R.I.P. them to their knees with humor, bro.
Elvis Presley. I don’t like to put rock stars in a visionaries post but this man is an exception. What a vocal range and so very expressive. Elvis couldn’t act for shit but he sure could carry the tune. The man could sing anything. You coulda dropped a grocery list in front of him and he would have sang it beautifully. Lived hard, died too young. Just like a lot of great musicians did. Was Elvis a true visionary? No, not really. He was just blessed with an angel’s voice and extreme good looks. But for every song sang and every wiggle of the hips, he certainly caused visions in many a girls head. So yes he was a visionary.
President Trump has selected Elvis Presley as one of seven recipients of the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
The award is the nation’s highest civilian honor, awarded to “individuals who have made especially meritorious contributions to the security or national interests of the United States, to world peace, or to cultural or other significant public or private endeavors.”
Paranormal Researchers. Every since people realized there was more going on in the attic than restless bats, humanity has searched for proof of the afterlife. Today’s paranormal investigators are some of the most innovative, intuitive, visionary souls you will ever find. They continue to develop new tools, new ideas and theories, new experiments, all in the search for continued life after death in the unknown realms. Some paranormalists are even so good at their research, they document and quantify their results just as a mainstream scientist would. And yet, about half the population refuse to believe in the paranormal despite overwhelming proof to the contrary. And that goes for aliens, ufos, and Bigfoot, too.
Every individual who was involved in the design and building of the pyramids and every other structure that’s been around for a bazillion years and is still standing. You know how to rock a stone ax, ancestors.
~©Jazzi Ryan Ranes~
I don’t necessarily hold with all the beliefs of these seekers, not all the time and maybe even none of the time. Depends on my frame of mind and whether I’m having a good hair day or not. So I’m not endorsing or dissing anyone on my list of visionaries. But I do recognize over the top genius when I see it. Here are a few who rolled up their sleeves and left a mark on the back side of humanity.
Over the top genius doesn’t begin to describe this man. He invented things that would have freed humanity from many modern struggles, had he not been robbed of them and stunted from ever growing to his maximum potential. He died in poverty and sloth. He was a sharp one he was. I would’ve like to seen him have some rein.
What list would be complete, right? Like the man above, he just needed more time.
Paul Harvey was a visionary, if you could hang out long enough to hear the rest of the story. So was Robin Williams and Bugs Bunny. Bugs was so cool he could ice you before you knew what hit you. The Tasmanian Devil ran you over with nonsensical gibberish, but you somehow knew where he was coming from.
Jim Carrey almost reached enlightenment but he was just too damned silly and he started to crash. Like poor Robin up there. Like wtf dude. Did funny hurt that bad? You comedians have it rough. Speaking of comedy genius, Carol Burnett and Tim Conway, Vicki Lawrence and Harvey Korman. If you’re too young to remember them, go to YouTube and check them out.
Arthur Conan Doyle. Sherlock Holmes. Need I say more.
Edgar Allen Poe.
So much more than a horror story writer. Check this link for a story of a man I bet you didn’t know.
Until just recently I didn’t think much of him but a little research and a deeper look at his art, revealed a true creative genius. The man didn’t just scribble on paper. Check this out for a bit more.
Edvard “The Scream” Munch.
The Scream. The German title he gave these various works is Der Schrei der Natur, which means -The Scream of Nature-.
Same deal as Pablo but dark and creepy.
Marquis De Sade.
Don’t look at me like that. I can see you’re uncomfortable. Hear me out. Dude had mad erotic skills. Get back over here you, I said. Let me explain.
The Marquis De Sade had a deep profound knowledge of human sexuality, human behaviour, and the basest of all human desires. He was a lustful heathen and he did not give a good damn what anyone thought. It felt fucking good and he was gonna do it.
A couple quotes might explain why I dig his hedonistic soul.
“When she’s abandoned her moral center and teachings…when she’s cast aside her facade of propriety and lady-like demeanor…when I have so corrupted this fragile thing and brought out a writhing, mewling, bucking, wanton whore for my enjoyment and pleasure…..enticing from within this feral lioness…growling and scratching and biting…taking everything I dish out to her…..at that moment she is never more beautiful to me.”
-Marquis de Sade-
“My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!”
-Marquis de Sade-
…and one more.
“Either kill me or take me as I am, because I’ll be damned if I ever change.”
-Marquis de Sade-
And speaking of people who knew about sex. Dr. Ruth.
Gene Roddenberry and Stephen King mastered the term IMHO. Gene’s Star Trek worlds have come to pass in many ways and more of it has yet to be created. Inspiring? You bet your ass. Stephen King. omg do I even have to explain? Dark, horrific worlds made so excruciatingly real… What goes on in your head dark master, when you turn out the lights? What dies on the cutting room floor out of those epic stories? What monsters haunt you?
Foster Brooks. No introduction needed.
~©Jazzi Ryan Ranes~
Theses are the kind of things that poke at me in the middle of the night. Where does it work into the fabric of things? I’ll be digging on YouTube for a particular song then find it hours later playing on that radio show. Have a heated thought and come to find that thought, bounced off in your direction without my permission. The smooth electric jazz that plays in my novel, plays in your soul.
I watched part 1 of the White Crane Chronicles last night and David Carradine’s controlled strength and words echoed a knowing starting to grow inside me. I write of the mountains in Montana and you post a video of a blue lake in Canada that looks just like what I see in my mind. These triggers that zipped in and out of awareness all day yesterday…synchronicity?
I don’t believe anything just happens, everything happens for a reason. Power of intention? Is that just long words for making a choice? Choosing your reality every moment you live it. Those ancient ways…urges one longs for, are inherent in the back story of my writings. Small events happen that come to the forefront of my mind when they mess with some thing or thought spinning around up there.
I sat outside yesterday listening as someone down the holler cut wood with a chainsaw, but below that, in my head, the strong hard thwacks of my main character chopping firewood with a long-handled ax in chapter 4.
Boom. Whoops, there it is. Synchronicity in its finest form. Inside and outside of reality. Accessible any time not just when one chooses to notice it going down.
~©Jazzi Ryan Ranes~