Just a thought here, kind of out of the blue. But it will give you some insight into some things about me. So if I go off and write some stream of consciousness thing at you, know yer getting a look inside my psyche whatever the subject may be.
Why the aka? Why fly incognito wearin’ the shades? Concealing my given name and my present physical reality? Why open this battered door anyway? Who gives a damn, right? Well here’s this. Because I am Jazzi but Jazzi is not me. Makes no immediate sense right? It will in a little bit maybe. Hell, maybe you already starting to get my vibe. We’ll see…
I project this persona, this alternate or twin soul, twin flame, wtf ever, who lives inside me because I have to just a little while or a lot. At least until these fractured pieces of me stop standing beside each other and finally integrate. Assimilate. Become one and become whole.
Besides that my writing is going to creep around in some strange, dark corners every once in a while and I need to think of other people in my life and any afterburner trails I may leave behind. I don’t hold with most of the hammered in beliefs that the pack usually follow and I don’t want to scorch their personal beliefs or hurt anyone’s feelings.
The sometimes searing, rarified air of taboo meanderings that may potentially erupt, the side of me who thinks they’re a little comedic but really comes off just a little far over the edge to be funny. These things need not enter their airspace or their aura unless they want it to and think they can breathe.
You need not be here. Future writings will tell that story better. I’m not here for the dollars although the dollars would be nice. I love you all, already, you damn heathens you. You got Soul Baes…you got Love.
Smooth, soulful soft instrumental jazz, preferably performed with saxophone and or guitar, has been my sensual go to music for almost thirty years. I started out as a child loving Chet Atkins and The Ventures. Both instrumental guitar performers. Yakety Sax was a favored tune. I evolved into the likes of Yanni and David Arkenstone and continued to explore. I played a little guitar and keyboard myself. I named a dog with one blue eye and one brown, Jazzy. Jazzi is the woman of passion, heat, fiery seduction, waterfalls, serene mountain lakes and unusual thought processes. A black cat owns her, she is Taurus, and she has deep dreams. She reaches out her palms in supplication even knowing she will be cut. She bleeds hot tears and ink, but she cleans up after herself.
Now Ryan, well he is my reincarnated male soul, or perhaps my baser id…the dark side, the dirty injun boy…the side that will tie you up. He has hard techno, bass beat, dance and synth blaring in his headphones and it will be primarily instrumental as well. Ryan wants everything, right now and will take it if you don’t give it. He will lay you down in the dirt if that’s where you happen to flip his switch. He is the little girl who hated to play with dolls, wouldn’t wear dresses, played with Tonka toys in the dirt and fought in grade school. Mom hated that I read MAD magazine and I hated that I thought it was cool. I loved Stephen King, Clive Barker, and Dean Koontz, while they read Judy Blume, Shel Silverstein, and Teen Beat. The nightmares, the fantasies, the man I always wished I could find. He leaves a mess wherever he goes.
Ranes? So much going on there I don’t know if I can even explain. Rayne is all of it, everything, every last atom of my being. My spirit, my soul, my quantum entanglement. Rayne embodies all fractured facets of my personality and allows me to speak my voice finally. Sometimes she dances naked in the rain while lightning and thunder crash down. Sometimes he is soft rain on a tin roof taking you for the very first time. She will remain loyal to you despite how badly you treat her. He will go off and fuck somebody else just to spite you. She likes sunsets, and he likes sunrises. Rayne will listen to any kind of music if it touches the soul. She loves to read and write and swim in rivers, lakes, and streams. He enjoys long walks in the forest, mountain vistas and home cooked meals. Rayne is complicated, and you never know what she/he is thinking.
So there you have it. Or some of it anyway. These meanderings don’t really cover it, and there is so much more I could never express. That’s why I write words. I find that I can write with confidence from either a female or male point of view. Words are the only way these personality aspects can interact. They seem to be the only things that even come close.
Sorry, not sorry I just dripped ink, tears, blood, and cum on your chest. It should come off with a little cold water and some scrubbing.
~©Jazzi Ryan Ranes~